Hollywood thrives on fast-paced romances and tearful breakups, yet a few celebrity couples have been able to maintain their relationships over time. In fact, these couples have stayed together for a few decades, which is a testament that love can survive even when one is under the constant scrutiny of the media. So, how did they do it? Here are ten surprising, wise, and heartfelt lessons about long-lasting love that come directly from couples who have done it under the spotlight.
10. Make Each Other Laugh
It looks like laughter could very well be the best piece of relationship advice. Bob Newhart was always saying that humor was what kept his marriage alive for 60 years, and Nick Offerman is of the same opinion that not treating life too seriously has been the reason for him and Megan Mullally to be together for more than twenty years. What is his advice? “Maintain your sense of humor, be generous more than you are receivingand remember to do the dishes.”
9. Stay Independent
Healthy couples don’t suffocate one another; they move apart as well as together. Viola Davis and Julius Tennon attribute some of their marriage to giving each other space to follow personal passions before coming back with renewed energy to the home base. Marriage gurus indicate that whether it’s a single vacation or a new sport, independence spices up the relationship.
8. Speak (and Listen) Honestly
Ron Howard and his wife, Cheryl, have been married for over 50 years and function by solving problems with a good-natured argument. Henry Winkler, married almost as long, puts it more succinctly: “The ear is the center of all relationships… not the heart, not the mind, the ear.” Deep listening is what fuels love.
7. Admire Each Other
Love isn’t all about affection—it’s also respect. William Daniels, who has been married to Bonnie Bartlett for over 70 years, says that he continues to think his wife is the smarter, more talented of the two of them. That respect, he acknowledges, has been the key to their marriage: “I just hang on and try to get along.”
6. Keep Romance Playful
Even the longest, most mature marriages require a spark. Alicia Keys and Swizz Beatz keep things interesting with surprise dates, and Suzanne Somers and Alan Hamel once confided that dancing under the moonlight was the secret to their remaining married. As Somers described, “Those are my favorite times.” It’s evidence that a bit of playfulness and intrigue are highly effective.
5. Lead With Respect and Empathy
Samuel L. Jackson and LaTanya Richardson Jackson—married for over four decades—say long-term love means thinking beyond yourself. Samuel explained it best: “The selfishness of who you are has to be subjugated.” Considering your partner’s needs and feelings is a recurring theme among couples who’ve gone the distance.
4. Don’t Let the Small Stuff Win
Small annoyances turn into big problems if you let them. For Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr., the solution is simple: separate bathrooms. For others, it’s fighting smart battles. Either way, keeping the peace is sometimes a matter of knowing what not to fight about.
3. Make Rituals Together
Date nights, morning coffee, and bedtime routines—those small rituals are love glue. Ree Drummond (The Pioneer Woman) once revealed that even when she and her husband are mad at each other, they touch feet at night as a reminder of their connection. Those little things remind couples that they’re still a team on bad days, too.
2. Build on Friendship First
Romantic love can be fleeting, but friendship persists. Couples like Sting and Trudie Styler, and Freddie Prinze Jr. and Sarah Michelle Gellar, vow that being the closest friends is the biggest secret. As Freddie so swore: “We don’t just love each other—we actually like each other.”
1. Make a Long-Term Commitment
In the end, it is all held together by commitment. Tom and Rita Wilson, Denzel and Pauletta Washington, Kevin Bacon, and Kyra Sedgwick—all cite patience, perseverance, and being there for each other day after day. As Hanks summarized, “Our relationship isn’t magic—the way it’s shown in movies. It’s timing, maturity, and a willingness to keep building intimacy.”
Hollywood is famous for whirlwind romances, but these couples show that love is never glamorous or over-the-top—it’s all about humor, patience, respect, and just showing up for each other, year after year. And the true magic happens in the choosing.